but screw it I really want you to see this.
I know I was wrong to read the convo. It was invading privacy and I'm sorry. But yeah, I was curious. And yeah, I expected what I would see but it somehow still hurts.
Seriously you're one fucking complicated guy.
If you don't like to do something don't put on a happy face, do it and then go home and bottle up the resentment you felt to be used as a future weapon against me.
What's the point I ask you.
Yeah I know I'm pushy and irritating and everything. But I rather you tell me to stfu than use that fucked up patronizing tone on me. I may call you my dad, but so what you have no fucking right to use that stupid patronizing tone on me. I'm not the type who wants to domineer nor be domineered in anything, including friendship. But you treat me as an equal and I'll treat you as one. I'm not interested in a power struggle with you like you have with your girlf. But when you try to use some stupid tone on me like I'm really your freaking kid (btw if i was i'd have ran away from home -.-) my back really goes up and i just feel like making sure you get screwed in out up down left right k.
Yes, today I was really a lil over the line and irritating. But think of it from our point, we're like already in YOUR area, and we thought you had to go out and eat anyway. When you still didnt want to meet us, its like you just wanted to go out of your way to avoid us.
And btw, calling outings with us 'social interactions that exhaust you' is seriously offensive.
I think I can confidently say we know your flaws and everything. Yet you still feel like you have to put up a good front for us? To entertain us in sucha way its tiring? So you cant be yourself with us?
I seriously dk what to say -.- If you cant even be comfortable with us, who are we to call us your friends?
And to actually count the no. of times you go out with us to be used as some kinda argument against me?
Whats the fucking point?!
True friendship is supposed to be effortless. You feel like you have to put in so much effort with us? That everytime you go out is like, a freaking big favor TO US?
Friendship isnt just about spending time -.- It isnt like, you put in 100 hours of friendship hours, woaaaaaaah, maximum friendship points to you.
Its about seriously enjoying the time with us.
I can just ask her out when I feel like it and she'll do her best to meet me.
And btw? I still dont get why there must be secrets among the 3 of us. Yeah you insult her okay lah. You insult me okay lah. We all insult each other, we all know about it. Don't be stupid. You think we dont talk? We share everything. Idk if I could say the same about you.
Yeah I know when you read this, you might prolly say "fuck yeah I can finally be rid of you" and we'll never talk again. But I really don't care. I'm damn tired of giving in. I actually do care about you as a good friend. In fact in this school now you're like the friend I spend most time with.But I'm human and I wanna be appreciated too ok?!
Thanks for fucking ruining my day.
Other than that, my Monday was awesome. School ended at 9.30-10 cos of the awesome A'level results obtained by the J3s. Thanks J3s! (: After settling all the school stuff went to meet joanne for lunch and a movie.
I made joanne buy the tix and amused myself by seeing her get stressed out and repeat to herself "its I am NUMBER 4." several times before she went to the counter :D
It was awesomeeeeee! C: Even more awesome to watch it with joanne aka sarah (inside joke heehee). I think we laughed the most in the cinema although it wasnt really supposed to be funny, LOL! We made so many comparisons, it was so funny. She's sarah and I'm no. 6! :D Yay, I have cool powers. Seriously the special effects were damn nice. Go watch go watch :)
Then went home, got pissed off, and here I am now. Sigh.
Last week of term 1. KEEP GOING, MICHELLE!
/but i'm just so tired of caring so much for certain people and not getting appreciated at all.